


It ain't love -   until it is

by loveliftsusup_08



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Post-TFP, Sherlolly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveliftsusup_08/pseuds/loveliftsusup_08
Summary: Coffin Scene - Sherlock's POV   ..  Drabble.  It isn't much..





	

Mycroft, John and I were on our third challenge in the macabre exchange we found ourselves embroiled in with Eurus. So much information had yet to sink in but for the present the tasks at hand took every bit of wits and endurance we had. 

Our participation and success in each room of Sherrinford our prison guaranteed a brief smattering of time in order to speak to a child apparently trapped in a pilot-less aircraft in the sky. 

At the prompting of our captor, I began a full spate of deductions regarding the simple coffin set on props that we had discovered in the middle of the barren cell and it's mystery owner. 

Mycroft cast a searching look around, while I lectured, soon locating and walking toward the simple lid leaning against the wall. 

Upon reading it, he interrupted me, "Or we could read the name." I paced over to him, glancing at the simple name plate on the wooden lid. 

Three words, ‘I love you’. My previous deductions hit hard knocking the breath from my chest. Petite, worked with the dead, and I could literally see her brown eyes shining with emotions.. Oh, Molly, isn't this exactly what I tried to spare you. 

I felt dazed and slowly made my way back to the casket, I leaned on it for support struggling to come to terms with the danger implied for Molly. Ignoring Mycroft’s barbs and John’s ridiculous suggestion that Irene was the intended victim, I reminded them there was only one person of our acquaintance who would have chosen such an unassuming resting place and had ever born a sentimental regard for myself. 

John knew it well .. her efforts to please, the obvious behaviours that indicated affection and attraction. All I could think was that for the first time the grim reality of a world without her in it stared me in the face. It was not a pleasant sensation. 

John spoke curiously, and almost simultaneously with me as I voiced her name , ‘Molly’ .. ‘Molly Hooper ‘ Try as I might there was nothing to indicate Molly’s present whereabouts, whether here or some other fearsome enclosure. 

Eurus chirped raucously, informing me that my friend was safe even as 3 live feeds from Molly’s flat appeared and a count down clock set to 3 minutes. I found myself compelled to move closer to see that she was safe. 

The clock inferred a challenge and knowing Moriarty as I did it would be one designed to inflict the most sadistic pain he could devise. 

I already felt afraid for Molly as Eurus set the rules and somehow before the last words fell from her lips I knew what sick humiliation had been cooked up between them.

The woman, who had provided a way out of The Fall who had let her foolish heart rule her head would now be used as a weapon against me and I against her in the game of Caring is not an Advantage. 

Eurus placed the call as I looked expectantly at Molly, who stood at her sink apparently lost in a blue reverie. The tones snapped her out of it, and I took a deep breath preparing for action. 

But Molly turned to her cutting board and appeared to have no intention of picking up her phone. 

It was frustrating, to have her so close to danger and so uncooperative in her rescue. My mind raced in deducing her. There were only a few easy ones.

Molly appeared to not be the owner of a cat any more due to lack of cat hairs. She appeared to have invested in higher end home gadgets...not the time at all. File away for later. 

Eurus dialed again, and this time even John urged her to pick up. By now I had reached into my mind palace striving to find the information with which to bargain for Molly’s life if the clock ran out. 

Her voice came on the PA and I looked up, her posture and tone displayed fatigue but she had answered and now I would get my chance.

‘Hello,Sherlock, is it urgent, because I'm not having a good day. ‘ 

‘Molly I just want you to do something for me and not ask why.’ 

Maybe keeping it professional would be kinder, perhaps keep it from wounding too much. 

‘’God, this is not one of your stupid games,’

“No it’s not a game; I need you to help me-"

"I'm not at the lab” she jumped in, cutting me off.

"It's not about that," Guilt surged finding out that she still expected me to try to manipulate her - because really this was just another manipulation. 

“Well, quickly then.. “ Gathering my resolve was for some reason very difficult. . a strange feeling of painful regret swept over. Why? 

“Sherlock” she urged. “What is it, what do you want?” 

“Molly please without asking why could you say these words, “ I knew I was fighting a losing battle of keeping emotions out. There was no easy way out and Eurus’ prompts made this even harder. 

"What words?"

"I love you.” 

"Leave me alone," Molly reacted defensively and moved to hang up. My effort to keep it on neutral ground had failed. 

I panicked inexplicably the words tumbling out at a roar, "Molly no please no - do not hang up, do not hang up!" I ordered her desperately. 

Eurus threatened me to restrain myself, and I knew I must for all our sakes. I raked my hair in frustration. A no harder case had I ever encountered. 

The dreaded tears and questions came from Molly, "Why are you doing this? Why are you making fun of me?"

"Molly please I swear you just have to listen to me, "  
I struggled to keep it impersonal in spite of Eurus prompts; 

Why cross bridges that couldn't be recrossed easily? 

"Molly this is for a case ..it's a sort of experiment,” I could hear the condescension in my tone and was not surprised with Molly’s words. 

"I'm not an experiment, Sherlock," her tone was sad and her voice quiet but firm. 

"No, I know you’re not an experiment , you're my friend, we're friends, but please --- just say those words for me. "

"Please don't do this -- just-- just-- don't do it." I understood I was entering ground we had tacitly  
agreed to stay clear of but what choice did I have? 

The time frame created the necessity for a no holds barred skirmish. 

"It’s very important--I can’t say why but I promise it is."

"I can't say that -I can't - can't say that to you."

"Of course you can. Why can't you?" Molly really , why are you being stubborn they’re just words.

"You know why,"

"NO I don't know why!" 

"Of course you do," her tone expressing disbelief, 

Moriarty’s nightmarish richter filled me with bile. 

"Please, just say it," I kept thinking what else could I try? 

"I can't not to--" "Why?"As time ticked on my fear grew and I grew more desperate.. failure was not an option.

"Because -- because it”s tr-- because it's --true -- Sherlock , it's always been true, " the last words hidden in a shuddering breath. 

I had surmised from the start but now was affirmed of the utter cruelty of this game; that Molly in her undoneness and hurt would be forcd to declare openly the unrequited love I had shoved back in her face time and time again.

But to look at her face it shone with a peace I had never seen as if there was healing in the words she was saying. 

"If it’s true just say it anyway," I felt like we were home free 

"You bastard," staring at Molly I could see the lightness of her confession brighten her face. 

"SAY IT ANYWAY," I pushed harder.

"You say it ---- --- go on you say it first.."

"WHAT?" This scenario was not in my book. For her sake and the plane in crisis, I had ONE try to get it right. 

"Say it , say it like you mean it ," the words came with a subtle challenge.. she would not be made a fool of again .. 

What power did the innocuous phrase hold to suddenly cause my heart to race and my lungs to fail? "I--- I love you ------ " Although they were tentative I knew that truly I could not deny their validity, and so I spoke them again, leaving me entirely vulnerable and defenceless before her, "I love you" 

I felt a foreign pain and pride as I saw her tenderly caress the phone " -- Molly -- Molly  
please?" 

Molly seemed to measure my words, weighing their sincerity before finally choosing to reciprocate earnestly and wholly, "I love you". With 2 seconds to spare I had completed the challenge and spared Molly’s life. In doing so I had revealed in myself an unknown previously buried quantity. 

Mycroft began a litany, his equivalent of the greater good no doubt.

I interrupted, "Eurus I won, I won. Come on play fair.. I WON!" Did Eurus have tears on her eyes? "I won, I saved Molly Hooper."

Eurus appeared on the screen before me, "You didn't win, you lost. There was no bomb why would I be so clumsy? You didn't win .. look what you did.. "

I turned away condemning myself inwardly for in the end my battering of Molly’s emotions had been deemed a failure. The bludgeoning of her frail heart was no kindness, no bridge but rather a declaration of such an immense magnitude that must be resolved and come to terms with. Later - I promised her -and myself. 

As Eurus droned on I walked in disbeief back past the lucent casket. That shining hollow was a sight too awful to bear, so I hoisted the simple lid and carried it over, placing it securely. 

Once more reading that simple implacable inscription and caressing the casket my breath drew in as raw as a sob and a terrible grief-like protective sensation billowed up in my chest and consumed me. 

The casket all at once became an intolerable, egregious, unlawful thing that in spite of myself I found myself pummelling mercilessly into oblivion. 

With a mournful soul-destroying cry I sank down along the wall and wept openly until I could weep no more. Wrung out and in a calmer frame of mind, I merely sat until John approached. 

"Look, I know this is torture," John said, "but you have got to pull it together". 

"This is not torture, this is vivisection. This is science from the perspective of lab rats," I rejoined bitterly. 

We shared a world weary look as he helped me to my feet. 

We repeated our mantra of soldiers and entered the next room, but I knew Molly and I were now in uncharted waters. I could not foresee where they might take us.


End file.
